IMAG1151 by Flutter from.Kat (Mummastimetocreate)

The view from here right now is not this photo. This photo was taken a few weeks ago of a very grumpy but healthy Abbie. Grumpy because Mr F also bought me a bowl of grapes.
I told you Abbie doesn’t like to share food… Even when it’s not hers in the first place she can get her nose out of joint. One can’t help but laugh but unfortunately she also doesn’t take kindly to being laughed at. Cue more grumpy faces.
Abbie loves grapes so much that apparently ALL the grapes in the world are hers and even Mummy can’t have her own bowl…

Anyway the view from here at 5.30am as I write this is quite a different story. You wouldn’t want a picture. We look rough.
I’m sitting up in bed with a sleeping Abbie on my chest. We’ve mostly been like it since 10pm last night. I say mostly because while we’ve been sitting like this it hasn’t contained a lot of sleep. Especially for me.

It’s nights like this that remind you what a precious commodity life is!
Comforting my poor croopy baby and sponging her little body to help her fever, I find myself counting every single breath to make sure they’re all there.
They’re not.
Regularly she misses one and chokes a little struggling to breathe. And every time my heart and breath stops too!

I find myself counting the minutes until morning…. Until I can take her to the doctor and find out what exactly changed from yesterday morning when she was running around with her sister screaming in joy, to lying terrified in my arms choking her breathe. And terrifying me too!

I can’t stop thinking how lucky I am to be here though. Obviously not lucky to have a sick child! But lucky enough to be here being the one to snuggle her.
Lucky to know this kind of overwhelmingly protective love.
A mother’s love is something else isn’t it?
I’m so grateful I get to know that.
Just grateful.
That is all…

Kat Xx

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  1. Oh, I am so sorry. That kind of thing is really scary.

    Our little girl had a similar thing last winter. She was so miserable she wouldn’t eat – not even chocolate chips. A nebulizer with albuterol (spelling?) really made a difference and helped her breathing, but of course I don’t know if that would be appropriate for what your little girl has. I’ll be thinking of you guys. Hang in there.

  2. I’m praying for Abbie…my oldest had croup one night. It was terrifying. We had to call 911 because she couldn’t breathe, and ended up in the emergency room. She had a full recovery in the next few days, though, and I hope the same will be true for your little one.

  3. Nothing can make you feel so helpless as having a sick child and not being able to do anything. I hope that she gets better very soon and that you both get some much needed rest. Prayers and hugs for you both.

  4. Thinking of you all, Kat. I hope Abbie gets better really soon.

    BTW – love the grumpy face photo! I have a daughter who’s 30 on the 16th (how the heck did that happen??) who used to do the same grumpy face thing. In fact, I’m sure she still does! :oD

  5. I hope your little girl is much better by the time I’m typing this. I loved the way you described a mothers love. The protective impulse comes from the pit of your stomach and can be overwhelming at times. I have 2 kids and my boy is 12 and is at that age where he is quite naturally pulling away from his Mum and his friends are a big priority, although if anything goes wrong he’s to be found very near me! I encourage his independence and will talk him through any problems he has. But my daughter is 7 and the other night she was curled up between myself and my husband. She was finding it hard to sleep and she whispered ‘hand’ to me which means she wanted to hold my hand. You see, my girl has special needs. She has very few words and uses sign language to supplement her words. She is the most beautiful child, she can look at you sometimes and it’s like she is looking into your soul. But that night when she said ‘hand’ my protection mode went into overdrive, I don’t know why really but when you have a special needs child you are their advocate for life. A mothers love is a very special thing, and we are very lucky to be able to give it and also very lucky if we also received from our own mothers.

  6. Oh bless her heart, im glad to hear that she is doing better today. Its so awful when your kids are sick, just want to be able to take it all away!

  7. Poor little Abbie. Poor you!

    Dont you know that when a child wants something every single one of those things in the world becomes theirs? Even if they dont want it right at that moment . Kids are concrete thinkers. Little P had hysterics the other day because Mr. P took my car to go to the shops.

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