Defiance personified… Oh my!

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Fright time!!! Oh my goodness Abbie just decided to try and kill herself by running out onto a busy road. So thankful the cars saw an accident waiting to happen and probably heard my hysterical screaming and slowed to a stop. I made it just in time #whydo

There are no words!

My heart is still pounding in my chest!

Tonight we had an impromptu walk around our lake…

It was serene,
Heading into twighlight….

Everything was quiet, still

And oh so perfect!

We 3 Flutter girls giggled as we walked…
We spotted tadpoles, lizards and all kinds of different birds…
I marvelled at how grown up Abbie is getting as she walked the 50 minute journey all by herself,

Wearing her big girl knickers,
And holding the lead of our dog all by herself no less…

Then the terrifying happened;

We got to the final 50 metres of our walk – the roadside part of the journey …
So I took the dog myself and reluctantly allowed Abbie’s hand to slip out of mine and the girls to run free a little way…

“Stay on the path and away from the road” says I…

“Yes Mum ” say they…

So I let them free,

I let my guard down and
I trusted.

I only lagged a few metres behind I might add,

But it was enough.

We continued our giggling and I ran alongside until almost the end…
But then as we came to the point where we turn left to take a path back to our house, Abbie did not turn…
 “Follow the dog Abbie said I”

Giggle giggle, ignore, RUN thought Abbie!
A very unfortunately placed roadworks barrier blocked the path ahead and gave Abbie two choices;
take the path we needed to take to the left, or turn right and run onto the road.
 “Stop, STOP, STOOOPP” yelled I

I was slow in my reactions, expecting Abbie to heed me,
but no….
For some reason only known to herself, Abbie ignored me in giggly defiance, turned right towards the road and ran faster…

Oh my did my heart stop in that moment!
My world slowed as realisation struck that she was about to run onto a busy road and in slow motion
I.ran!
What a difference those few metres I lagged behind made at that point, and for the first time in my parenting memory I turned hysterical for fear of my child’s safety!!

I am so thankful right now that this story has a happy ending, because it almost didn’t…

Two more steps and Abbie’s game would have been over!
I managed to reach her just as she was stepping onto the road and
Still oblivious to my growing hysteria she looked at me and giggled.
How blessed we are that the driver of the car in front, sensing an accident waiting to happen, slowed to almost a stop and backed the traffic up behind.
6 cars! –
6 cars going 60km an hour,
That’s what she was up against!!
She stood absolutely no chance whatsoever,
And yet she laughed!!
I think it’s fair to say that I have never been so scared in my life!!
3 hours later my heart still pounds,
My throat is still raw from my scream,
and I literally wet my knickers!
Hannah bless her, my wise and sensitive girl,
stood frozen and terrified to the spot
watching it all unravel before her.
She knew without words, and she cried the most.

***

So tonight I reflect…
How precious life is!

I am so, SO thankful for happy endings!!
And that tonight Abbie had Angels surrounding her.

My strong willed and often defiant Abbie has always challenged me around roads…
From past experience I am usually insistent that she hold my hand when we walk, or if she showing any signs of misbehaving I usually still carry her.
That strictness has previously caused her many a tantrum as she fought my rules and I’m often left carrying a squirming and very loud child.

But tonight, for whatever reason, in my relaxed state I let myself trust she would behave and listen
And her defiance was nearly her undoing…
– Needless to say that regardless of her learning anything or nothing tonight, I learnt my lesson and diligent hand holding it will be again from now on whether she likes it or not!

Tonight will be one of those nights that I gaze gratefully upon my children as they sleep,
Overcome by how blessed I am to have them.

{and with just a few more grey hairs to add to the growing bunch!}

13 COMMENTS

  1. Kat, I am so thankful that she is ok! My 2nd child was like that. One day he got away from me in a parking lot and disaster almost struck. In my fear and relief, I gave him the only spanking he ever had. In my case that worked. He never ran away in a parking lot or into a road again. 🙂 Take care, Karen

  2. Oh Kat! What a fright. It actually made me cry reading this. Emily did a similar thing when she was a similar age to Abbie. She asked to push the button on the crosswalk thing and I said yes. She ran towards it and I somehow realised her eyes were on the box on the other side of the road. I shouted so loud ‘STOP’ that I think the whole town stopped, but thankfully so did she. It was a very busy road too. The biggest hug to you. I understand what you are feeling.

  3. Oh my….I’m so glad your daughter is ok. As I read this it reminded me of my then 3 yr old son almost doing the same thing and how terrified I was. My youngest sister had taken him and her 3 yr old son out to her sons grandfathers house and left them there (without my permission or knowledge) and as my son saw me waiting for traffic to clear to pull into the driveway he started running to my truck. I sat there screaming “NOOOOOO” at the top of my lungs while watching him run toward me as all the cars zoomed by when finally the person who took him and my nephew outside with her to get the mail from the mailbox at the edge of the road finally noticed and grabbed the hood of his coat just as his foot was about to step onto the road. I don’t know if it was the look of terror on my face she noticed when she finally looked up or if she actually noticed my son but thank god he was stopped. He never would have stood a chance on that road. Needless to say I grabbed my son and my nephew, threw them into the truck without a word and left. Boy did my sister get an earful that night.

  4. Oh my goodness, Kat. That is too scary! Your Abbie sounds like my Clara. She’s still very little, but I can see that she isn’t going to be a good listener when it comes to mommy and daddy. I am so happy your little is safe and sound. My heart is pounding for you!!

  5. My Stomach is in knots just reading your post, mostly because I can totally imagine it as me with my little 2 1/2 miss who loves to pretend she can’t hear me at the worst moments. When we walk she is in her pram or on her trike which has a handle. I fear taking her out when she is big enough for those not to be options any more.

  6. Oh bless you for her being fine!. It is so terrifying when they do that, all part of life, maybe, but I was terrified reading it. I have been there and done that with mine, one way or another, and you feel the worst mother in the world , and all sorts of conflicting emptions! My son wore reins for a long time, no problem, but both girls loved the reins being on, as long as no-one held them! hands and squirmy bundles were the only real options. Held reins meant lying down or being suspended from them 3″ above the pavement…

    Good luck with the next episode!

    And has Hannah recovered- so traumatic for her too.

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