I have been staring at my screen now for at least 15 minutes trying to figure out where to start. It’s really quite overwhelming trying to fit 6 months of life into 1 blog post. Especially when the first part of the period was so so bad, and to get to the good stuff I have to relive that first. I contemplated just skipping forward a few months and starting with only the good bits, but that didn’t seem very truthful. I’ve always prided myself on keeping it real here, and telling it like it is, so I don’t want to just tell the good bits. After all, the hard bits are the bits that build character, and they help you value the amazing bits. So… *deep breath. Here goes…
We hosted my extended family over to our house this year, which was a huge novelty for me. It was the smallest Christmas gathering we’ve had in a while, because there were quite a few families away, but we had about 35 over for dinner. That was made up of my immediate family; my parents, 2 of my brothers, Mr F and my children, my Nana, a few of my Aunts and Uncles, and a selection of my Cousins, their partners and their children.
We hosted all day – from hosting my immediate family for breakfast and lunch, followed by my extended family for dinner. It was a long but very very satisfying day.
Luckily, our Christmas present to ourselves had been some lovely new deck furniture, and after 18 months of having a completely empty deck, we finally had somewhere for all our guests to sit. The furniture has already proven its worth hosting many get-togethers in the sunshine…
Then came December 26th, Boxing Day. A month to the day before our 13th wedding anniversary.
I hope that I’ll always remember this Christmas period as the worst Christmas ever. – What I really mean by that statement is that I hope I never have a worse one!
Basically on December 26th my world came crashing down, and it appeared that my marriage was over.
– The dividing assets and child custody, down to the nitty gritty kind of over.
Obviously this is the paraphrased version, but it all came down to the fact that it is impossible to have a thriving marriage when you live in a different country to your husband. By this stage Mr F and I had lived apart for 6 1/2 years of our marriage, and we had had a long time to drift apart, grow complacent and then despondent.
It was truly the worst week of my life, as we worked through all possible scenarios and solutions.
I’m incredibly relieved to tell you though that today our marriage is not over. In fact it’s stronger than ever, and I know it will stay that way.
How did it turn around you ask?
Well, I prayed with all my heart, soul and might for a miracle, and a miracle was what we experienced…
Within 6 weeks we went from not wearing our wedding rings and talking divorce, to Mr F proposing to me again and me saying yes.
And the best part about this news – after 6 1/2 years of working away, Mr F has FINALLY got a job where he comes home every night.
Boy do we feel blessed!
Living together as a family again, and knowing it’s now permanent, is life changing.
Mr F got the first job in NZ that he applied for, which happens to be the perfect job for him.
What was I saying about miracles?! We sure have been experiencing them in abundance!
Since the 1st of January 2015, the day we decided to stay together, it has been a little crazy here.
Crazy in a good, life changing, live-life-to-it’s-absolute-fullest way.
In January Mr F flew back to finish his last 3 weeks at his job in Australia. He arrived back in New Zealand just in time for us to take a weekend away and celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary. We rented a beautiful apartment and spent 4 days reminding ourselves how great life is when we live in the same country and get to spend time together.
We also hosted Mr F’s Mum to stay for 6 weeks.
In February one of my favourite people got married to her partner of 10 years, and the father of her children. We had friends come from around the globe to share in the celebrations, and I enjoyed 2 weeks of having my best school friends in the same country!
The weekend either side of my friend’s wedding, my Mum and her identical twin celebrated their 60th birthdays. All my family came from afar; my brother and his wife came over from Brisbane, one brother down from Auckland and one brother up from Christchurch for the occasion. We had family come from Perth, Melbourne, Auckland, Gisbourne and so on for the event. The twins shared their party with one of my other Aunts who was also turning 60. For those crazy 2 weeks we opened our home to family and friends to stay and hosted dinner on their actual birthday.
Toward the end of March the visitors all dispersed home, just in time for me to have a crazy few weeks at work. Who am I kidding, my work is always crazy, but that few weeks was crazier than most as I had to train someone to take over my clients for a few weeks.
Then at the beginning of April I took a little over 2 weeks off work and we took a family vacation to Fiji.
Fiji definitely deserves a blog post (or 2) all to itself!
So that my friends is where I will leave it for today. Then when I resume I can tell you all about our amazing trip to Fiji.
And the fact we sold a house.
And the fact we sold 2 cars and bought another.
Did I mention it’s been crazy?
Thanks for listening.
My heart leaped into my mouth and I felt so sick for you 🙁 I’m so happy to hear it all turned around though xx
Oh Kat you have certainly had a ride…so glad the end of the story ended better than it started. Xx
I just don’t know what to say but I have tears in my eyes from reading what you went thru & felt I needed to congratulate you for the tenacity to hang on to your marriage & not letting that pain bar you from the happiness of staying together. So, so glad for Mr F’s change of employment, that was a true blessing & answer to your prayer.
Look forward to more happy blog installment
Always enjoy reading your blogs, but my heart stopped at your news. So glad it is all resolved. How did you cater for 35? Lovely patio furniture and of course, in the summer people can spill outside. We do Thanksgiving for about 20 in November and it is a bit of a squeeze.
My goodness, that was a “hold onto your seats” post. Congratulations on working on your marriage and staying together. I think a lot of people go straight for the “it’s in the too hard basket”. I think a marriage is almost always a work in progress. Some people don’t want to do the hard yards. You are, well done!
Can’t believe you sold your house after all that hard work.
Your new look is fab!!! Love short hair cuts. Very snazzy.
I await the next installment with baited breath.
I was so near tears for you but am so happy life is back to being good for you… Lots of love and hugs! Glad to see you back!
I do so like a story with some mystery & suspense and finally a happy ending! Congratulations on your re-engagement!!! And on Mr. F’s new job in NZ too. :^)
So happy to see you back. You have had a terrible journey, but the destination is wonderful. I look forward to all your future good news. You look amazing.
*hugs* I am SO glad to hear that you and your hubs worked things out in the end. That had to have been really rough on your marriage, living apart for so many years of it. I’m so glad that you’re back together again and more committed than ever! Best of luck to you in the future!!!!
Well done, anything worth having takes hard bloody work!! I take my hat off to you your post warmed my heart xxxxxx
I’m glad you are doing well now, it sounds like quite the year so far.
Fantastic news. Congratulations on your miracle. May you always be blessed.
you both deserve an award for deciding to make it work!! So many people are in
“throw away marriages” oh well attitudes and such! I didn’t have the best luck as I
chose very inappropriate and abusive men. Today I’m a survivor not a victim and I’ve grown from the experiences.
You’ve also shown your children, I’m sure they were watching and felt what was going on in their home. My parents were married 55 years and I couldn’t have been prouder of them; I consider myself a very lucky girl to have grown up in a loving, stable home! <3
Very happy that you made your marriage work.