A few days ago I alluded to the fact that we (Mr Flutter & I) have a lot going on right now. So I thought it was time for me to “diary” a little of it…
– of what exactly has been stressing us out and keeping us in suspense.
(I also don’t want anyone to get the wrong impression about how we are as a couple 😉 )
Back in May I posted a diary entry with the details of our “fly in fly out” lifestyle. Because I regularly talk about or allude to the fact that Neil works away all the time, but only in snippets. So it was time to finally share the whole story – not just the fact Neil works away but why he does so…
(In brief we moved over here for the money, so we could afford to live on one income while I stay home with the kids & he is currently working away doing a 4 year electrical apprenticeship. So we’ve been staying in and ‘surviving’ the working away lifestyle for that – to get his trade certificate!).
I went on to share how I was with it all – I was a bit of a mess at the time really,
I think you’ll agree!
But I am so relieved to say that I’m not that same mess today!!!
Shortly after writing that post, as part of my ‘survival plan’ as you will, I finally gave in to my resistance and I went on anti-depressants/anti-anxiety meds.
They helped. Big time!
So much so that I thought I was ready to come off them before I actually was.
As it stands today (although things can change – don’t get me started on that fact!) Neil is scheduled to finish his apprenticeship in February.
After Christmas he has 3 more weeks working away and then he comes home to sit his exams.
Then we get to choose whether he continues to work away or not.
That means that the end is in sight folks – it is so close that we can actually reach out and touch it!
We couldn’t be more excited!
So with this in mind, and the fact that I have been doing really well in myself recently, the Monday before Christmas I came off the meds again. And this time I’m pretty sure it will be for real.
So far so good anyway.
Many would lecture me that it was completely bonkers to go off my meds just before Christmas. And they would probably be right. But for me it was the perfect time…
** I am on holiday, ** I have no pressures, ** Mr Flutter is home,
** It is summer. – According to my doctor that in itself makes a big difference.
** And I have so much to look forward to in the coming year to hopefully keep me on track if I falter.
So I did. I came off them. And apart from the physical withdrawals for the first few days, (making me feel giddy, nauseous, tired and yuck), it hasn’t been too bad. Dragon Mumma has had her moments in the limelight, but luckily they’ve been fleeting… And pretty manageable.
Insecure Mumma has also had her moments. But lets face it, that’s life. And besides, she never really was far away while on the meds anyway…
So what is the point of telling you all this?!
The point is that this *almost finish* comes with it’s own questions and quandries.
NOW we get to decide what to do next…
Does he stay with his current company, who look after him very well, and recognise his potential, but will require him to stay working away??
Does he move to another company on a short & family friendly fly-in-fly-out roster??
Does he try and find a job locally??
Or the big one – now we will soon have no ties to Perth, do we actually want to stay here and get settled in for the long haul, or is it time to move back closer to one of our family’s?!
Not much to think about at all really, is there?
But here’s the kicker – we can’t actually do anything yet.
– we aren’t in a position to make any decisions yet, we can still only wonder!
February may be so close that we can almost reach out and touch it, but there is still January standing in the way!
So all we can do for the moment is send these scenarios
around and around and around and around and around
in our poor tired brains and exhaust every idea humanly possible.
(Exhausting it really can be!)
So there you have it, that is our journey.
So close, yet still so far.
But the main factors are at least now there;
I am good mentally, he is good mentally and we couldn’t be better together.
The rest will come.
We just have to be patient.
Never.ever. my strong suit!!
Wish us luck…