Have you ever taken offence?
Maybe about something someone said or did that you didn’t like?
Maybe you hardened yourself and became angry toward them…?
Ever stewed it over in your brain, turning it round,
and around and around and around,
Until it expands a little,
Distorts itself slightly,
And makes itself at home in your thinking?
Has it ever kept you awake at night?
Granted you a little more bitterness than you once had?
I know I have!
I’ve sure taken offence…
And not just once either.
(I know, so surprising right?! 😉 )
Sometimes I’ve taken offence at the littlest things, said or done unintentionally
that I have perceived to be said/done against me.
Sometimes with “justification”, against intentional wrongs people have done towards me.
It’s hard not to at times like those especially isn’t it?
When you have ‘good reason’…
Yes, oh so hard not to harden your heart
Your thinking
Your life!
It doesn’t really matter which one of the above caused the offence though;
Even if the wrong was done intentionally, it still doesn’t make taking offence right.
Or healthy.
Or in any way good for us.
Last term my church did a study in our study groups called “The bait of Satan” by John Bevere.
It’s a bit of a sharp title isn’t it.
I know – I must admit that the title took me back a bit at first, and didn’t immediately make itself obvious about what it was about. So I was very sceptical that it would be for me…
So if that’s also you then allow me to share with you what it’s about;
Because it turned out that it couldn’t be more relevant to me!
The series is all about taking offence.
The offence itself being “the bait of Satan”.
John Bevere goes on to explain that offence is a trap
A snare
Offence pulls us away from other people
Saps our love for them
Thereby sapping our love for God.
Because God is love.
But despite whether you believe in God or not, I’m sure that you will be able to agree with me that
Nothing good (or holy) can come from an offence!
***
I needed that little reminder again tonight.
I’m not going to lie – it is a lesson I need to learn over
and over.
Because I write this to you at 3.30 am after lying here stewing in bed for the last hour,
Churning over an offence.
Playing it around and around in my angry little head
And making it bigger than it really was…
Letting it stop me from oh so precious sleep!
Then I prayed and instantly it lifted.
God directed me straight to a verse in the Bible which set me free from my churning
and humbled me immediately.
And then he also made me realise that I had taken offence!
I had fallen into the trap,
The trap of which nothing good can come!
So I felt compelled to share this with you today.
Not the short, light, airy post I had planned for today – I guess I will have to reschedule that now until next week. (the suspense will kill you I’m sure 😉 );
But I felt that this message, despite it’s heaviness, could not be more relevant to the new year;
Since it is the start of a fresh chapter in the book of lives and all;
The chance to move forward renewed and unabated.
(Or should that be una’baited’. – Yes, I’m going to be that corny 😉 )
So I ask you this;
Are you also holding onto an offence?
Because if so then please, do me a favour and don’t let it eat you alive like mine almost did.
The only person that will suffer will be you.
My prayer to you in this New Year is that you can be set free from past offence,
That you can make peace with your ‘offenders’ and
That you are able to start the year off with a pure, clean heart.
Then I have no doubt that 2012 will be your year!
Happy New Year Everyone 🙂
(And sorry that it was a little heavy today – but I felt that it needed to be said today of all days…)
PS you can watch all of the videos of “The bait of Satan” free on you tube if you would like to. They are well worth watching!
I am sorry you were offended. You know what? We have a saying in Austria that is-translatet: don´t even ignore them! Which means don´t put even your energy into thinking about that stuff. Have a happy new year!
I let go of my perpetual offender this year, and have had a wonderful out of sight, out of mind experience since (well, mostly, there have been a couple of stewing sessions since when other people kind of encouraged it). Hope 2012 gets you past your offenders!
Happy new year :o)
I have an offence which has been niggling at me since before Christmas. Every time it rises to the top of my thoughts I tell myself that I need to let it go. I am pretty sure that this person didn`t mean to offend me, that they were just being thoughtless. It kind of feels like there needs to be a resolution for me to be free of it, but I don`t think there is going to be one. If I try to initiate one I`m pretty sure this person will be defensive, or at the least not apologize which will just stir it up more. So `let it go`is what I need to do. Thanks for a thought producing post.
I needed this! I’m terrible at taking offence and then letting it take over, still trying to build up the courage to go to church but posts like this reminds me that I need to go!
Sorry you had such a poop start to the new year, although I must say very odd responding to a post written in the future, still 2011 here! Gah, this is odd!
Happy New Year x
You’ve had a some deep and very well written posts lately. I think writing it down and putting things in perspective helps to heal as well as your faith. Or you could do what I do when I get really wound up like that – I stand at the back door with it open taking deep breaths repeating ‘Out with the bad thoughts, In with the good thoughts’ until I have let it go, or made myself laugh and therefore allowed myself to move on. It does help at times. Sorry I haven’t emailed today. I had an almost email free day. Tomorrow – which is your today, I promise!
How you get to be so wise at 3.30am – I am a terrible ‘stewer’ (is that even a word?), but I will think of your words in future x
Wise words Kat!
Happy New Year x
A lesson I’ve also had to learn more than once….and am still learning.
I sometimes wonder how often someone is stewing over some careless or thoughtless thing I have done or said.
Best to you and your family in 2012.
That’s a great mindset to go into 2012 with! I’m still in 2011, but wishing you blessings, health and happiness for your 2012! Jxo
thank you, thats all. You’ve helped me, thanks for the words I needed to hear. x
I’m really bad at this. I can still recall things people said to me years ago that hurt me. I try to let things go but I’m really bad at that too!
Good advice and something I’m going to try harder at being good at this year.
Since I’ve been quiet lately Im fairly confident it wasn’t me who offended you!
A funny thing I have learnt in 2011, Its not just me… I always thought I was just ultra sensative, and took offence too easily. I do take offence too easily, but I am coming to realise that its not just me, there are a lot of other people out there that take offence as well, And I am sure that I have caused offence to people as well!
It makes me feel a little more normal hahaha
Thank you for your wise words my friend. I am so blessed to have such a great friend, who is also such a strong woman of god!
Well posted Kat, yes we can choose how we react to things can’t we. I like to believe that everyone is genuine and well meaning so it is a bit of a shock when they are not, but it is my decision as to how I react to that.
Happy New Year xx
Wow, your words came at the perfect time for me — thanks for sharing!
A lovely peaceful and positive way to start the New Year. I’m going to be mindful of your words through the year in both how I deal with others and how I let them affect me. Happiness through 2012 to you and your family.
Thank you for sharing this with us. It also reminds me to be more careful of what and how I say things as I know stewing over an offence can be energy sapping. Much better to conserve all that energy to do God’s work like what you have done here.
I have the same problem, but also its partner. I may say, or do, something which I then perceive could have been taken awry. I will not have meant to upset or offend, but I stew about it, as I am worrying that I have upaset someone without cause, and withoutany malice. I can stew on this for weeks! The other party probably never even noticed what was said or done.I have wasted endless energy worrying.
In your words- it needs to be let go!
you are so sensible to start the year with this. Thank you.
Often, to the “sayer” words might sound humerous, but to the “receiver” they sound mean…….yet, they were never meant to be mean or ugly. Perhaps you need to meet the situation head on and talk to the offender……I bet nothing was meant meanspirited!
On the other hand, if you’re really upset, I have a saying that I heard years ago: “Got along before I met ya, can get along without ya now!” Many times, I repeated this phrase and it makes me feel better immediately! LOL
Caught up with your posts at last and have to say I am very glad I did! All you decision and future projects sound very exciting and it seems to me that you are on fire! Maybe you have all this energy because you are able to focus on the positive and let go of the c***p! Well done and I’ll try to follow your example!
Who knows what can be achieved…?